Chicken wings cook in an air fryer
An air fryer is a wonderful device. It's perfect for cooking up delicious foods with less oil. Even steak (you savages). We previously had discussed what not to fry in your air fryer, focusing on some of the hottest items in technology and how they would be best served not being tossed into an air fryer. Now we're going to do it again. If you've ever watched "Will it Blend" then you are in on the joke.
And just like a good dad joke, this one will not go quietly into the other room. Your air fryer is still there on the counter except some things have changed. A lot has changed. We're almost all on some variation of a stay-at-home order due to the novel coronavirus and COVID-19. We're on quarantine. We're bored and we're restless. That combination can lead to dangerous results. You might be looking at your kitchen appliances and the technology you have around the house and wondering "will it air fry"? It will not.
Do not air fry your Android phone. Epic Games and Google have finally come to an agreement on letting Fortnite into the Google Play store. Previously it was only available on Android phones through direct download, which is ridiculous because then Android fights it as it wasn't obtained through the Google Play store. You may have wanted to destroy your Android phone, but now you can play Fortnite without the OS challenging the install.
Do not air fry your Nintendo Switch. Animal Crossing could be preventing a lot of mental breakdowns right now. Sales of the Nintendo Switch doubled year-over-year last month and the consoles are sold out everywhere. The secondary market is bananas right now so if anything, sell your Nintendo Switch to get some extra toilet paper money, don't air fry it. Or buy an Atari 2600 instead.
Do not air fry your Sonos speaker. Sonos speakers are some of the best on the market for wireless streaming. If you want to air fry a speaker, try that portable Bluetooth speaker you bought for $10 outside a bodega last summer. You know the one. Sonos just released its own streaming radio app and if you could air fry app, you'd want to air fry this one. It only streams at 128kbps. That's like the soggy turkey sandwich of streaming quality. Sonos makes an amazing speaker, but radio itself has been sitting in the air fryer for decades, crisping into non-existence.
Do not air fry your Apple iPhone 11. With the Apple iPhone 12 on the horizon, it's time to start coming up with excuses as to why the iPhone 11 is outdated and needs to be replaced by a 12. Just don't toss your iPhone 11 in the air fryer. Not to condone tossing any iPhone in the air fryer, but if you have an iPhone 5c then you may end up giving into the temptation. But if you have an iPhone 5c then your problems are larger than air frying phones. The new Apple iPhone SE delayed, along with several other 5G-capable iPhones. In the interim, be happy with your iPhone 10 or 11 and air fry sweet potato tots, which are the literal best.
Do not air fry your debit card. Times are tough right now. Money is tight and unemployment is at record highs. So now seems like the best time for Google to announce that it's once again launching a debit card, because that's a thing we need. Do we need that? Did we need an Apple Pay card? Is that the only reason Google thinks a Google Pay card is viable? Google killed Google Wallet back in 2016, it's a strange flex to pull that dusty wallet out of the trash and re-brand it during a recession.
In this time of stress and uncertainty, having an air fryer in the house can be a source of pure joy. Munching on some freshly air-fried snacks while playing Fortnite on your phone, Animal Crossing on your Nintendo Switch, trading in your dusty old iPhone for a new one, paying with your Google Pay card all while listening to soft rock on Sonos radio is a luxury many people can't afford. So let's not take our air fryers for granted and try to stick to only air frying edible things, like cubed Spam, cauliflower and Cannabis-infused Twinkies.
